i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
