just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
