I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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