is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There r osticjed everywhere
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
