Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
