I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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