i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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