How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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