you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
