WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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