last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
