I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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