we have pet lesbian snakes
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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