How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
