I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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