He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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