...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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