So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
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Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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