Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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