I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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