I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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