I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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