tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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