I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
