can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my being single is dangerous.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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