He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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