real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
