my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
