Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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