is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
