ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
