Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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