Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize