Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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