he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize