I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
