Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
