handjob tips. give me some.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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