You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
