The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
