**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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