the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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