Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
kristin has been a bad kristin
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Randomize
