You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
