weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
