So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.