I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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