HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
