He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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