dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His hands were made for my vagina.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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