she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
