I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize