the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
