Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
