Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
In America we eat man semen.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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