Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
