He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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