great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
