is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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